He That Has Ears To Hear, Let Him Hear  ( Matthew 11:15-30 )
Challenging both secular wisdom and religious doctrines. - Will our descendants know moral virtue?

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Marriage & "the Mystery of the Church"
God's Favored Design & Foundation
The basis and benefits of family & society by adhering to His Laws of Nature.
Marriage is not a tradition, it is God's Design: Husband & Wife - Father & Mother

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Marriage: Made in heaven, not in courts.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. --Genesis 2:24

Jesus: Matthew 19:4-6 - "Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder."

Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled; but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. --Hebrews 13:4

God's design of marriage - The premise or foundation to be established in young adults is that God, our Creator, declares for our benefit in His creation, that His most favored design, marriage "is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled:..." (Hebrews 13:4) This was His design for a world based upon this foundation, and Nikolai Lenin understood this when he proclaimed: "Destroy the family, and the society will collapse."

  BelowAddressing Husband & Wife, Father & Mother

God's Favored & Foundational Design Marriage between one man and one woman
Marriage - "A Great Mystery?" (Ephesians 5) "Two shall be one flesh"
Women: God's family warrior: A strong helper and soldier
Husband & Wife: "Help meet" & "head" - Examining the Hebrew & Greek words for "help meet" and husband as "head" of wife.
Mark Gungor Videos A comical accurate look at men and women.
Marriage Advice (Dr. James Dobson, more...)
What Jesus said about divorce
Satan's counterfeit deception of Same-Sex Marriage "goes against nature" and teaching our children it is "normal"

   See Also:

God's Favored & Foundational Design

How God's design of marriage and the relationship between one man and one woman correlates with Christ (the bridegroom) and His Church (His bride).

Proverbs 18:22 - Whoso finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the LORD.

Ephesians 5:25 - "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself for it."  

Hebrews 13:4 - "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled; but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." 

1 Thessalonians 4:4-5 (Power New Testament)...For this is the will of God, the One Who sanctifies you, that you abstain from immorality. Each of you knows to take a wife for himself in holiness and in honor, not in lustful passion like the heathens, the ones who have not known God... 

"Marriage is...the most natural state of man, and therefore the state in which you are most likely to find solid happiness.... It is the man and woman united that makes the complete human being... man has not nearly the value he would have in the state of union. He is an incomplete animal; he resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors."  Benjamin Franklin 1745

Did Eve Come from Adam's "Rib"? - By Dr. Nicholas J. Schaser  Most English translations of Genesis 2:21-22 read, "The Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up flesh in its place. And the rib that the Lord God took from the man he built into a woman." The description of the woman made from the man's "rib" has led to the mistaken conclusion that women are inferior to men because they originate from one small part of the male anatomy. Yet the Hebrew word צלע (tsela) does not mean "rib," but rather "side."

   According to Exodus, for example, God told Moses to make four gold rings for the Ark of the Covenant, "two rings on one side (tsela) of it, and two rings on the other side of it" (Exod. 25:12). Likewise, when God takes one tsela from the man to make the woman, Eve comes from an entire side of Adam's body, not a single rib.

   Adam's own words clarify that Eve comes from one of his sides when he declares of his wife, "Finally, this is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh!" (Gen. 2:23). Had Eve been created from the man's rib alone, Adam would only have been able to say that she was "bone of his bone." As Adam's bone and flesh, the woman is the man's "other half." When man and woman cleave to one another and return to being "one flesh" (2:24), the two equal halves of humanity are brought back together. Therefore, the primordial couple in Genesis represents God's vision of equality and complementarity between the genders.


Men and women ARE born to be different as experts prove "brain differences begin in the womb" - Turns out we really are wired differently - By Harry Pettit ...The conclusion is a controversial one, as many experts think social influences are more important to the distinctive ways that men and women think. But scientists at New York University Langone say they've narrowed down a biological root after they took brain scans of more than 100 foetuses in the womb. Study author Professor Moriah Thomason said she was not surprised by the finding. "There were many differences in the organisation of male and female foetal brains. That's what I would expect," she told The Times.

   ...Scans were taken of 118 foetuses in the second half of pregnancy. One of the big differences was in connections between distant parts of the brain. Girl produced more "long-range" neuron networks as they matured in the womb. While it's impossible to know how this changes the way women think, differences in boys' brains were easier to decode. Their connections were found to be more changeable than girls'. This may explain why men are more "vulnerable" than women, according to Professor Thomason.

   (See also: Mark Gungor Videos: A look at men and women. Tale of two brains - Men's Brain Women's Brain - Mark Gungor compares men's brains to lots of boxes that don't touch and women's brains to a big ball of wire where everything is connected to everything else. Although, comical, does it, and the new study help to explain why man needed a "help meet?"  

Who did the Lord confront for Sarah's denial? Why did the Lord honor Abraham? Genesis 18:12-3,17-19 - Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also? And the Lord said unto Abraham, Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying, Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am old? ...And the Lord said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do; Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.  

Strengthening Marriage (Family Research Council) - Family is foundational. Marriage constitutes the basic building block of society, and it was the first institution created by God in the book of Genesis. One man and one woman in a marriage covenant relationship for life is the divine pattern expressed throughout the Bible.
   ...Marriage impacts children. Wherever possible, children should be reared in the context of the bond between the two parents whose marital union gave them life. Research shows that when both genders are represented in the parenting role, children have the best opportunity for health, wellbeing, development, and success in life. As Dr. James Dobson notes, "More than ten thousand studies have concluded that kids do best when they are raised by mothers and fathers."
   Every civilization has been built upon the institution of marriage. It is the foundation. The happiness and success of individuals, the welfare and security of children, and the soundness of society, are all largely dependent upon the stability of marriage according to the divine pattern. According to the Family Research Council's Marriage and Religion Research Institute (MARRI), federal surveys clearly demonstrate that the always-intact married family that worships frequently (weekly or at least monthly) yields the most favorable social outcomes. Compared to the non-intact family that worships less than monthly or never, national data illustrates the superiority in:

Benefits for the Individual:
Happiness: 50% more likely to be happy in a general sense.
Performance: More than a third more likely to take pride in their work (34%).
Health: Nearly a third more likely to rate their health excellent or very good (30%).
(From the Case for Marriage)
Benefits for the Couple:
Marital Satisfaction: 25% happier in their relationship.
Divorce or Separation: 50% less likely.
Adultery: More than 4 times less likely (7.7% vs. 33.8%).
Earned Income: As much as 5 times more annually ($54K vs. $9.4K).
Benefits for their Children:
Average High School GPA (English and Math): Almost half a grade point higher (2.94 vs. 2.48).
Expulsion or Suspension from School: Nearly 3 times less likely.
Repeating a Grade: Nearly 6 times less likely (6% vs. 34%).
Hard Drug Use: Nearly 2.5 less likely (8.5% vs. 20.1%).
Drunkenness: Nearly 2 times less likely (22.4% vs. 41.2%).
Homosexual Activity: 3 times less likely (2.5% vs. 7.5%).
Running Away from Home: Over 2.5 times less likely.
Average Number of Sex Partners (Females): Over 3 times less (0.47 vs. 1.55).

1 Corinthians 7 - Now concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife has not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband has not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud not one another, except it be with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man has his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

   And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother has a wife that believes not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which has an husband that believes not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

   For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God has called us to peace. For what do you know, O wife, whether you shall save thy husband? or how do you know, O man, whether you shall save thy wife? But as God has distributed to every man, as the Lord has called every one, so let him walk.

   And so ordain I in all churches. Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised. Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God. Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.

   Art you called being a servant? care not for it: but if you may be made free, use it rather. For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord's freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ's servant. Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men. Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.

   Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that has obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be. Are you bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. But and if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she has not sinned.

   Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remains, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passes away. But I would have you without carefulness.

   He that is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married cares for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

   There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that you may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

   But if any man think that he behaves himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sins not: let them marry. Nevertheless he that stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well.

   So then he that gives her in marriage does well; but he that gives her not in marriage does better. The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.  



"This is a great mystery..."

The Bible begins with a marriage and the Bible ends with a marriage in Revelation. "This is a great mystery...

Ephesians 5:22-33 - Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head (source) of the wife, even as Christ is the head (source) of the church; and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church; For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery; but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

1 Peter 3 - Wives and Husbands: Likewise let the wives be in subjection to their own husbands, so that even if some husbands are
disobeying in the Word, through the way of life of the wives they will have been gained without a word, because they watched your pure way of life in reverent fear, for whom your beauty must not be the external things, by the braiding of hair and wearing gold or putting on adorned clothes but the secret person of the heart, in the imperishable quality of the gentle and quiet spirit, which is of surpassing value
before God. For so also in former times the holy wives, those who hoped in God, were putting themselves in order by being subject to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, of whom you have become daughters by doing good and not being afraid and not at all in terror. Likewise husbands, because you live together, you know your wife as the weaker feminine vessel. By showing honor to her, as also to fellow heirs of the grace of life, your prayers would not be hindered.
   Finally, all believers be united in spirit, like-minded, loving brothers, compassionate, humble, not paying back evil for evil, or reproach against reproach, but on the contrary blessing because you have been called into this, so that you would inherit a blessing. For "The one who wants to love life and to see good days must immediately stop his tongue from evil and not speak deceitfully, but he must at once turn away from evil and do good, he must immediately seek and pursue peace: because the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous and His ears for their appeal, but the face of the Lord is against those who do wickedness." (Psalms 34:13-17)

   And who is the one who will harm you if you would be eager for moral goodness? But even if you might suffer because of righteousness, you are blessed. And you should not be afraid of them and you should not let yourselves be intimidated, but you must now hold our Lord the Messiah in reverence in your hearts, always prepared with a reply for everyone who questions your report about the hope within you, but with gentleness and respect, because you have a clear conscience, so that while you are being spoken evil of, those who revile you would be put to shame by your good Way of life in Messiah.

   It is better to suffer for doing good, if he might want the will of God, rather than for doing wrong. Because Messiah also once suffered concerning sin, the righteous One on behalf of the unjust, so that He could bring you to God when He did indeed die in the flesh, but then was made alive by the Spirit: with Whom also, when He went, He preached to those spirits in prison, to those formerly disobedient. While the patience of God was eagerly awaiting, in the days of Noah a box (ark) was being built for which a few, that is eight lives, were rescued through water. And now immersion, which is a fulfillment of the type, saves you, not in removal of dirt from flesh, but an appeal for a clear conscience toward God, through the resurrection of Y'shua Messiah, Who went into heaven and is on the right hand of God, with angels and authorities and powers being subject to Him.

   ...John 3:27-31 - John (the Baptist) answered and said, A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven. Ye yourselves bear me witness, that I said, I am not the Christ, but that I am sent before him. He that has the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease. He that comes from above is above all: he that is of the earth is earthly, and speaks of the earth: he that comes from heaven is above all.  

   ...Jesus: Matthew 22:1-14 - "The kingdom of heaven is like unto a certain king, which made a marriage for his son, And sent forth his servants to call them that were bidden to the wedding: and they would not come. Again, he sent forth other servants, saying, Tell them which are bidden, Behold, I have prepared my dinner: my oxen and my fatlings are killed, and all things are ready: come unto the marriage. But they made light of it, and went their ways, one to his farm, another to his merchandise: And the remnant took his servants, and entreated them spitefully, and slew them. But when the king heard thereof, he was wroth: and he sent forth his armies, and destroyed those murderers, and burned up their city. Then he said to his servants, The wedding is ready, but they which were bidden were not worthy. Go ye therefore into the highways, and as many as ye shall find, bid to the marriage. So those servants went out into the highways, and gathered together all as many as they found, both bad and good: and the wedding was furnished with guests. And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment: And he said unto him, Friend, how is it you came in here not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless. Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. For many are called, but few are chosen."

Revelation 19:7-9 - Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honor to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife has made herself ready. And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints. And he said unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he said unto me, These are the true sayings of God. 

Isaiah 54:5 - For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.

Why did God look upon Abraham as He did? What did He �know� about Abraham that pleased Him.

Genesis 18:18-19 - Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

The "bride" takes the husband's name as Christians take the Name of Christ.

"A man is to make a woman a better woman and a woman is to make a man a better man." --Carlolyn Curtis James

Matthew 22:2 - The kingdom of heaven is like unto a certain king, which made a marriage for his son.

God performs the marriage ceremony, and Adam says in Genesis 2:23 23 This is now (he doesn't say "she" is now); he says "This is now," meaning this new relationship, he is talking about marriage. This is now bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman because she was taken from man. Adam names her. He names her after himself. His name in Hebrew is Eish. The Hebrew word for woman is Eisha. In the first marriage, she takes his name. All Eve knows when she is created is that she is there. She doesn't know who she fully is until she receives his name. That is why in marriage, there is a transfer of names from the woman's last name to the man's last name, because she is now merged into another purpose.

The "mystery" - "...the two shall be one flesh." Examining the "mystery"  - The bride takes the husbands name. The bride now does everything in his name. The bride acts in faith in his name. The bride becomes immersed (baptized) into the life of her husband as a partaker of his kingdom. "For as He is, so are we in the world." 1 John 4:17

To fully understand the God's design of the marriage relationship between man and woman it is necessary to understand the "marriage" relationship between Christ and His Church. (I.E. How does Christ care for His Church? Does the Church "submit" to the "King" whose Kingdom is not of this world?) Discover the "mystery," by understanding the man's role of caring and the wife's role of caring for being cared for: See What is What is the Kingdom of God? He that has ears to hear, let him hear. 

Scripture such as "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it," should be an indication that Christ, "the bridegroom" and "His Bride," the church (Revelation 18-22) depicts how IMPORTANT "marriage" is to God.

The mystery: Just as the man and wife are to become as one, so too, believers and God are to be as one. Is not the Church the Bride of Christ?

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Messiah? So then could the members of Messiah be members of a prostitute? God forbid! Or do you not know that the one who is joined with a prostitute is one with her body? For "it will be," it is said, "the two are one flesh." (Genesis 2:24) But the one who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.  You must continually flee immorality. Every sin that a man could do is outside the body; but of immoralities he sins against his own body. Or do you not know body is a sanctuary (Ephesians 2:21-21) of the Holy Spirit in you, which you have from God, and you do not belong to yourselves? For you were bought with a price: now you must glorify God with your body. And concerning the things of which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman; but because of the temptation of immoralities let each have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband. The husband must continually surrender his obligation to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have power over her own body but the husband does, and likewise also, the husband does not have power over his own body but the wife does. You must continually not deprive one another, except from agreement for a time, do that you could devote yourselves to prayer. Then you should again be continuing relations the same way, so that Satan could not test you through your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 6:15-7:5 (Power New Testament)

The Bridegroom Longs for You - By Jaime Dicke - "And Jesus said to them, "Can the friends of the bridegroom mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast" (Mt. 9:15). Our lives are a part of a grand love story, because God is a lover. Throughout scripture God calls Himself, "Bridegroom" and "Husband" (Eph 5:32, Hos 2:16) and His people are affectionately called His Bride. God is love and He is in love with you. His love is not tame, but jealous (protective and exclusive), endless and passionate.
   Throughout church history, many Christians have read the Song of Songs as a picture of the love between Jesus and His Church, the Bride. In Song of Solomon 8:6-7, the Bride says to her Beloved: "Set me as a seal upon your heart, As a seal upon your arm; For love is as strong as death, Jealousy as cruel as the grave; Its flames are flames of fire, A most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love,  Nor can the floods drown it. If a man would give for love All the wealth of his house, It would be utterly despised."  What a beautiful picture of Jesus love for us! It is stronger than death; in fact, his love drove Him to the cross. He could not bear to be separated from us. His desire is like a flame of fire that consumes every part of us. Nothing can quench this love; no, nothing can separate us from the love of God. We are sealed as His own possession.
    As the Bride says, "I am my Beloved's and His desire is for me" (Song 7:10).
    It is glorious when the church is rooted in her bridal identity. Who are we? We are His and He longs for us. His heart is drawn to us. He is constantly pursuing us. He wants to be with us, to know us, and to be one with us. See Eph. 5:31-32. His love is intense, but it's also full of joy. Jesus is smiling. "His love is better than wine" (Song 1:2). Yes, His love is intoxicating. "Taste and see that the Lord is good" (Ps. 34:8.).
    Our story ends with a wedding. "Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb [Jesus] has come, and His wife [the Church] has made herself ready" (Rev. 19:7). Every bride is excited and eagerly waits for her wedding day and in the same way the Church looks to that day with hope.
    "And the Spirit and the bride say, 'Come!' " (Rev. 22:17). Before the return of Christ, the Holy Spirit and the church will be asking and longing for Jesus to return. Jesus is alive, burning in love for us and waiting for His wedding day. Be happy! We're getting married to God! He has prepared a diamond city for us to live in, and He will dwell with us and make everything beautiful!  See Rev. 21  

Men: Husband & Father: Priest & Prophet Derek Prince - Fatherhood

There are three eternal aspects of the Godhead: 1 Fatherhood 2 Headship 3 Fellowship, perfect and unbroken. The key is the human father. He must be the head of his family and submitted to Christ. The father has two specific ministries to the family: 1 Priest: he represents his family to God as intercessor. 2 Prophet: he represents God to his family, a spokesman for God. He is also a 1 Provider. 2 Protector. The average child forms his impression of God from his father. God intended it to be this way. No father can delegate this responsibility to a pastor, youth worker, etc. However, he can delegate limited authority to act in his behalf, i.e., in loco parentis/pater. E.g.: to a Christian school. Beware of allowing the government or anyone to usurp authority that is not scripturally right. A major problem of the USA is renegade males. These men renege on their three basic family responsibilities: 1 Husband. 2 Father. 3 Spiritual head.

LETTER TO A HUSBAND - By Ron McGatlin - God is so good to give us this opportunity to communicate these deeper realities in the Lord. God is doing a wonderful work in you, much as he has done in me over the years of seeking and then walking with Him. As you know a husband is to be as Jesus is to His bride. Jesus is savior to his wayward potential bride. Jesus' covenant begins with laying down His life becoming the blood sacrifice for her. The cross included painful beatings and death all for His Bride or wife to be. It was not for His own sin or shortcomings. It was for His wife's sin and need. He even died for those that were beating Him.
   By love Jesus endured the cross to produce a purified holy bride or wife redeemed from a fruitless difficult life into the glory of a fruitful life of righteousness, peace and joy on earth now and forever. He did not develop love for her after she began to do things right or better. He loved her completely and gave himself for her while she was a sinner doing wrong and certainly was not even trying to do her part as a bride or wife.
Jesus did not speak correction to her. Oh, he did speak correction to the religious leaders who set up rules and laws for the people to follow and rejected Him and His love even though He loved them. He spoke words of love to the Bride and encouragement and gave loving advice on occasion. Jesus was and is the perfect husband. Our part as husbands is to be as Jesus and love our wives as Jesus loved His Bride. Ephesians 5:25.
   Only one major problem here. NO MAN CAN FULFILL THIS REQUIREMENT TO BE PERFECT LOVE TO OUR WIFE ON HIS OWN. Only one person can and will do this. Only God in Christ Jesus can do this from within us. Only God in us can truly do our part in loving our wives.
   Therefore, our first part is to go to Father God in Christ Jesus and become one with Him. This is our part of laying down our lives to literally become His life, the life of Christ Jesus in us by the Spirit of God IN LOVE with God. As we are crucified with Him and His resurrected life actually lives in us, we can fulfill our part of a marriage to our natural wife on earth to love our wives as Christ loves His Bride. No man can have this love for His wife without first being a bride or wife in total love with God in Christ Jesus. This is Spirit reality for a "perfected" or mature husband and subsequently the husband to a maturing wife and a father to beautiful godly children.
   The reality is that almost any woman who is exposed to a man bearing this real love for her will gladly come into order with God and truly seek to fulfill her part as a faithful wife with great respect for her husband. It is very hard for any wife to continue in disrespect or disorder to this mature God-filled husband; and it will cost her dearly to continue to do so. However, if her husband tries to change her by reasoning or pointing out her lack in any area, or in suggesting she fulfill her role as wife, it is extremely difficult for her to become a true and faithful wife. She will suffer greatly and there will be no peace.
The way to have a new wife whether in a new person or the same wife is to FIRST fulfill our part as husband. The way to never have a wife is to try to be a husband to them with anything other than the unconditional life giving, soul changing love of God in you for them.
   The disorder in a marriage is simply a replica or picture of the disorder in our love relationship with God. We surely have not been trained in this. Most, if not all of us, did not grow up this way. And our marriages have shown it. We cannot patch up or simply repair the disorder in marriage relationships and hold on to our old life and our past beliefs and ways of trying to make things work. It does take a new foundation, a whole new wine skin for the whole new life of becoming one with God in love with Him and bringing His love to our wives first and then our children. Without that love covenant with God that cost us our lives, we will only have affection for those who do something for us, those who give us something we want or need to feel good. In other words, it is only you scratch my back and I will scratch yours.
   Natural romantic love affairs are very powerful for a season. Even natural animals have great affection for a mate for a short season. Man without God and even Christians that are not truly in love with God can never have a truly godly marriage. Only after we fall in love with God and become one with Him is there a firm foundation for marriage to a wife. If the foundation is not right the house will not stand. That is why in many cases a new foundation based and a new covenant may be the only way.
   You know even God made two major covenants with man. Once when man did not have it right and then the new covenant when Christ Jesus, God's son of man, made it right again with man. "But doesn't she have a part?" Not at all, until we have taken care of our part, at least as far as we are concerned. Like it is with Jesus and us, love came first from Him not us His Bride. The bride or wife has a part to respond to God's love flowing through her husband.
Yes, in the situation where there is a wife in love with God there may be things God will have her do and be. However, that is her part and we are not talking to her here. The husband, as Jesus, is the first part and the part that must be in place before there can be a godly marriage. The husband has nothing to do or say about the wife's part until His part is in order, God's order.

Women: Wife & Mother: God's family warrior: A strong helper and soldier - Carolyn Curtis James - Lost Women of the Bible

Genesis 2:18 - And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help (ezer) meet (neged) for him.

Understanding these Hebrew words is necessary to appreciate what "help meet" actually encompasses.

"Help" was translated from the Hebrew word `ezer -- pronounced: ay'-zer,  meaning  aid: (H5828 from Strong's Concordance) 

ezer is derived from `azar -- pronounced: aw-zar'  meaning to surround, protect.  (H5826)

"Meet" was translated from neged -- pronounced: neh'-ghed; meaning a front, part opposite; specifically a counterpart, or mate; usually (adverbial, especially with preposition) over against or before: (H5048)

neged is derived from nagad  -- pronounced: naw-gad' meaning  properly, to front, stand boldly out opposite; by implication (causatively), to manifest; figuratively, to announce (always by word of mouth to one present); specifically, to expose, predict, explain, praise. (H5046)

Therefore women are created to aid, protect, be a counterpart mate providing advice or praise by explaining or exposing and predicting consequences to help men determine the best course of action to take.

Genesis 16:13 - And she (Hagar) called the name of the LORD* that spoke to her, "You are El-Ro'i," (The Hebrew means, "God Sees Me.") for she said, "Have I also here looked after Him Who sees me?" As we learn from God when He engaged Hagar when she thought she was just a lowly slave girl, that He is well aware of her situation and despair. Yet He reveals He "sees" her and cares for her.

The Lost Women of the Bible book by Carlolyn Curtis James: Learn more about women and God from Eve, Noah's wife, Tamar, Hannah, Ester, Mary, Mary Magdalene and the Philippi women. I.E. Mrs. Noah was married to a husband that was ridiculed for his righteousness and devotion to God and a mother to three sons. Was she an ezer, a strong helper, encouraging her husband and a resource for his service to God? While she was lost to the writer of Noah's story she was not lost to God. Consider her while Noah was building the Arc on dry land, then after the flood. Or Tamar, an ezer, who rescued the lineage of Jesus.

Proverbs 31:10-31 - Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool, and flax, and works willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is yet night, and gives meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considers a field, and buys it: with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She girds her loins with strength, and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good: her candle goes not out by night. She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretches out her hand to the poor; yea, she reaches forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes fine linen, and sells it; and delivers girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looks well to the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but you excel them all. Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.  

"Help meet" & "head" -

Examining the Hebrew & Greek words for the wife, "help meet," and husband as "head."


Why 'Helper' in Gen. 2:18 May Not Mean What You Think - By Dr. Eddie Hyatt - ...Edited by Rabbis Nosson Scherman and Meir Zlotowitz, the Chumash provides commentary on the Torah by Jewish rabbis and teachers, both ancient and modern, and is widely used in Jewish homes and synagogues. Written by people for whom Hebrew is their native tongue, the Chumash says neged literally means "against," and that God literally said he would make the man a helper "against" him. The Chumash commentators go on to say: Many have noted that the ideal marriage is not necessarily one of total agreement in all matters. Often it is the wife's responsibility to oppose her husband and prevent him from acting rashly, or to help him achieve a common course by questioning, criticizing and discussing. Thus the verse means literally that there are times a wife can best be a helper by being against him (Hyatt, Who's the Boss?, 25).

   ...Through all of this, it was becoming very clear that the "helper" God creates in Genesis 2:18 is not a mild, meek, "yes, dear" sort of person who never challenges or expresses an opinion. I was beginning to see the truth of the Chumash that the helper God was making was a strong and equal individual who has both the right and the responsibility, when called for, to confront her husband as an equal partner. ...The Bible, however, is clear on this matter. As the man's ezer neged, the wife has both the right and the responsibility to confront her husband when necessary. In doing so, she is fulfilling her role as "helper" spoken of in Genesis 2:18  

Have We Been Misinterpreting the Word 'Head' in Ephesians 5? - By EDDIE HYATT ...when Paul says in Ephesians 5:23 that the husband is the kephale (head) of the wife, his point is not about authority and leadership. If he had wanted to establish an authoritarian structure for marriage, he could easily have done so by using words such as archon (ruler), despot (master) or timē (one of rank and honor). Any of these would have unambiguously communicated the idea of superior rank and authority. Paul, instead, avoids those words and speaks of the husband as the kephale, or source of the wife. In doing so he is referring back to the Genesis account of creation where, instead of creating a separate creature from the ground to make the woman, God took a side from the person He had already created from the dust, and built the side into the woman. The popular Jewish commentary known as The Chumash says, Unlike man's, the woman's body was not taken from the earth. God built one side of the man into woman. so that the single human being became two, thereby demonstrating irrefutably the equality of man and woman (Hyatt, Paul, Women and Church, 85).

While the husband is the "head" of the family, the wife is the "heart" of the family.

"Men do that which is difficult while women do that which is impossible." --Lakota Chief Red Cloud ("Next to Last Stand" -- 2020 Walt Longmire book by Craig Johnson)

Mark Gungor Videos (Must See)

Tale of two brains - Men's Brain Women's Brain - Mark Gungor from Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage compares men's brains to lots of boxes that don't touch and women's brains to a big ball of wire where everything is connected to everything else. Prepare to laugh.

Sex is what men want from women - Mark explains why. 

Marriage Advice

Dr. Carol Ministries

    HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Articles and Resource Guides about communication, intimacy, and other marriage challenges.

Did I Marry the Wrong Person?

When Your Marriage Fails Anyway

Your Husband Longs for These 5 Life-Giving Things From You


Your Husband Longs for These 5 Life-Giving Things From You Dr. Carol Peters-Tanskley These essential elements create a godly atmosphere in your home. So many people look at marriage as a way to get their own needs met. In a godly, healthy marriage you will have many needs met. But as an adult, as a believer and as a wife, you will be much happier, more satisfied and find more success in your marriage if you focus more of your efforts on what your husband needs from you rather than first seeking to get your own needs met.
   Your husband is responsible for his own behavior. Always. But as his wife, you have much more influence and "power" in your relationship than you probably realize. You are fully equal to your husband in the sight of God, but He has given you a role and responsibility in your husband's life that is unique.
   For your own sake, pay attention to these five things your husband needs from you. These are needs that no one else can meet to the degree that you as his wife can. Meeting some of these needs may feel unnatural to you, but just do it. Don't worry about doing it perfectly. But if you proactively seek to understand and meet these needs in your husband, you can be the catalyst God uses to support him in becoming the man God created him to be.
    1. Honor and Respect: A man thrives on honor and respect. He will gravitate to the place where he is most honored and respected whether at work or at home. This does not mean you refuse to see his faults, but it means you look for the best in him and affirm all that is good. Just as you don't want him to give you conditional love, don't give him conditional respect. Offer it as a gift, generously. He is likely to do more of any behavior you appreciate and affirm.
   You show him respect by honoring his opinion, following his leadership, covering his faults, and allowing him to fail. You are free to, and should, speak up when you see him going in a "wrong" or dangerous direction, but allow God to be the enforcer. Speak well of him in front of others. Be his bigges cheerleader. Magnify his good qualities. Treat him at a level above what you may think he deserves, and he is likely to do all he can to live up to that.
(If there is abuse going on, take it seriously. Get some help. You can do that even while respecting your husband.)
   2. Affirm His Sexual Nature: No, you don't have to say yes every time your husband wants sex. This is about so much more than frequency. His sexuality is one of the primary ways your husband experiences and expresses his masculinity. He needs you to embrace and affirm his sexual nature; that's the way God made him. He needs you to accept your role as the object of his sexual desires. Simply "doing your duty" sexually doesn't cut it; your husband feels successful when you are satisfied, when you enjoy yourself, when you show that you desire him. Actively pursue intimacy with him.
   A man's sexual needs often get a bad reputation because of how often they have been distorted. Remember, your husband is always responsible for his own behavior. But under God you, as his wife, can support and affirm who God made him to be, including sexually. Stretch yourself. Take a mental step toward your husband, and follow it up. Be more sexual than you feel. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. It will keep drawing your husband back to you.
   3. Create a Home: This has nothing to do with whether or not you work outside the home, or what level of gifting and desire you have in cooking, cleaning or decorating. Your husband needs to be an equal partner in home responsibilities. But your husband needs you to be the architect of the home environment. He needs to have a place to come home to, regardless of how humble the physical surroundings.
   Think through what your husband's experience is like when he comes home. Is it a place he wants to be? Is he safe there? Is the fragrance of your attitude and demeanor appealing? Does he feel as though home is where he belongs? Although the physical environment has an influence, much more important is the sense of rest, of being welcomed, of safety, of being loved, valued and understood.
   4. Be His Friend: You're not your husband's mother or his child. He needs you to be his helpmeet, his partner, his friend. If you find yourself criticizing, micro-managing, belittling, controlling, begging, demanding or expecting him to "fix" you, quit it. He will end up resenting you if you play his mother, and he will not respect or desire you if you play his child.
   Enter his world. Show interest in what interests him. Stretch yourself to understand things he does or values. Ask questions, join him in some activity he enjoys, and choose to find joy in doing things together. Many men will feel much more motivated to communicate from their heart when they are engaging in some enjoyable activity with their best friend, you.
   5. Pray for Him: Your influence on your husband is never greater than when you are on your knees. Countless men have been drawn to God through a praying wife. More than your words to your husband, your words to God about him and for him will make a difference.
   Don't pray only that God change him, although you are free to do that. Also pray for God to show you who He needs you to be to your husband at this season of your marriage. Ask Him to create such an inviting fragrance through you that your husband can't help but respond. Your sensitivity to the Spirit's work in your life, your husband's life, and your marriage can make you an indispensable partner in what God is seeking to do.
   Dr. Carol Peters-Tanksley is both a board-certified OB-Gyn physician and an ordained Doctor of Ministry. As an author and speaker, she loves helping people discover the Fully Alive kind of life that Jesus came to bring us. Visit her website at drcarolministries.com 

7 Ways You Might Drive Your Wife Crazy, and How You Can Avoid Them - By BJ FOSTER/ALL PRO DAD - As I talk to couples, I hear a list of common things husbands do that drive their wives crazy. Many of these can be avoided by small pieces of intentional action.
   1. Inability to multitask. Marriage author Mark Gungor talks humorously about the difference between men's and women's brains. He says women's brains are like a big ball of wires, while men's brains are like a collection of boxes. Inside each of those boxes is a subject and only one box can be dealt with at a time. Women have the ability to think of everything at the same time. They see every subject as interconnected. The amount of details running around their brains is overwhelming. The trouble I run into is when my wife is trying to transfer some of those details to me. If you give me more than one detail in one sitting we're in trouble.
   2. Zone out. Gungor goes on to say that men have a box in our brains with nothing in it. He says the Nothing Box is our favorite box. We have the ability to actually think about nothing, while women's brains never stop. We love to sit and not have to think. This drives women crazy because they can't fathom it. In fact, they kind of envy it. However, it becomes a problem when we zone out or our minds wander when our wives are talking or needing us to engage. I've had too many experiences like this clip from Lego Movie where I've had to ask my wife to tell me things multiple times.
   3. Don't respond. The easiest response for us when our wives have a problem is to jump into action and try to fix it. However, they have told us over and over they don't want us to do that. We are told they want us to just listen. When they are finished pouring out their problems and emotions, we sometimes sit there not knowing how to respond. They are looking for us to say something, but we know we're not supposed to say something that attempts to fix it. So we say nothing because we haven't done the next point.
   4. Don't connect emotionally. I believe, more than anything, our wives are looking to connect with their husbands. However, that's certainly not the easiest task for us. Watching a group of women empathize over one another is fascinating. They all gather around the hurting person in tears and console her. When our wives talk about their struggles and joys they want us to tap into our own similar experience and connect our emotions with theirs. When it doesn't happen, they feel frustrated and alone.
   5. Expect sex without trying to connect. When we go to bed, we hope to have sex to connect with our wives, but she needs to emotionally connect first, and if that didn't start earlier in the night it's not going to happen. Wives need a warm up and when we haven't reached out to them until bedtime, their first thought is, "Now you want me? Where were you earlier when I wanted to talk?" If sex with your wife is going to be a possibility, you need to start making your move the moment the kids go to bed.
  6. Show no initiative. After a long day, it's easy to come home and disengage. This is especially true when our wives are running crazy with details. It's tempting to think, She's got it. They want us to enter into all of their chaos, help them think ahead and move.
   7. Don't plan. When my wife takes the kids to the park, she plans for everything. She thinks through inviting friends, the weather, extra clothes, snacks, drinks, toys and sporting equipment, and how long we are going to be there. I think through whether they are dressed and have shoes on, and we're on our way. Imagine what vacations are like. Our wives are constantly planning to meet the needs of our kids and want our help, whether it is our natural tendency or not. 
   (BJ Foster is the director of content creation for All Pro Dad and a married father of two. For the original article, visit allprodad.com.)



Angry Women and Passive Men - From Love Must Be Tough by Dr. James C. Dobson- The problem has its origins in childhood, long before a young man and woman stand at the altar to say, "I do." For her part, the girl is taught subtly by her culture that marriage is a lifelong romantic experience; that loving husbands are entirely responsible for the happiness of their wives; that a good relationship between a man and woman should be sufficient to meet all needs and desires; and that any sadness or depression that a woman might encounter is her husband's fault. At least, he has the power to eradicate it if he cares enough. In other words, many American women come into marriage with unrealistically romantic expectations which are certain to be dashed. Not only does this orientation set up a bride for disappointment and agitation in the future; it also places enormous pressure on her husband to deliver the impossible.

   Unfortunately, the man of the house was taught some misconceptions in his formative years, too. He learned, perhaps from his father, that his only responsibility is to provide materially for his family. He must enter a business or profession and succeed at all costs, climbing the ladder of success and achieving an ever-increasing standard of living as proof of manhood. It never occurs to him that he is supposed to "carry" his wife emotionally. For Pete's sake! If he pays his family's bills and is a loyal husband, what more could any woman ask for? He simply doesn't understand what she wants.


Inevitably, these differing assumptions collide head-on during the early years of marriage. Young John is out there competing like crazy in the marketplace, thinking his successes are automatically appreciated by the lady at home. To his shock, she not only fails to notice, but even seems to resent the work that takes him from her. "I'm doing it for you, babe!" he says. Diane isn't convinced.

   What gradually develops from that misunderstanding is a deep, abiding anger on Diane's part, and a bewildered disgust from John. This pattern has been responsible for a million divorces in the past decade. The wife is convinced that her low self-esteem and her unhappiness are the result of her husband's romantic failures. With every year that passes, she becomes more bitter and hostile at him for giving so little of himself to his family. She attacks him viciously for what she considers to be his deliberate insults, and bludgeons him for refusing to change.

   John, on the other hand, does not have it within him to satisfy her needs. He didn't see it modeled by his father and his masculine, competitive temperament is not given to romantic endeavors. Besides, his work takes every ounce of energy in his body. It is a total impasse. There seems to be no way around.

  In the early years, John tries to accommodate Diane occasionally. At other times, he becomes angry and they slug it out in a verbal brawl. The following morning, he feels terrible about those fights. Gradually, his personality begins to change. He hates conflict with his wife and withdraws as a means of avoidance. What he needs most from his home (like the majority of men) is tranquility. Thus, he finds ways of escaping. He reads the paper, watches television, works in his shop, goes fishing, cuts the grass, plays golf, works at his desk, goes to a ball game- anything to stay out of the way of his hostile wife. Does this pacify her? Hardly! It is even more infuriating to have one's anger ignored.

   Here she is, screaming for attention and venting her hostility for his husbandly failures. And what does he do in return? He hides. He becomes more silent. He runs. The cycle has become a vicious one. The more anger she displays for his un-involvement, the more detached he becomes. This inflames his wife with each greater hostility. She has said everything there is to say and it produced no response. Now she feels powerless and disrespected. Every morning he goes off to work where he can socialize with his friends, but she is stuck in this state of emotional deprivation.

   When a relationship has deteriorated to this point, the wife often resorts to some very unfortunate tactics. She begins to look for ways to hurt her husband in return. She embarrasses him by telling his business associates what a cad he is at home. She refuses to attend office functions or provide any other support for his occupation. She tells stories about him to their church associates. She shuts him down sexually and undermines his relationship with the children. To be sure, she can be a formidable opponent in the art of infighting. No one on the face of the earth could hurt John more deeply than his own wife.

   Let me make it clear that I'm not condemning this woman out of hand. She has a good case against her husband. He doesn't meet her needs properly and he's an inveterate workaholic. To that extent, the man is guilty as charged. I attempted to express this feminine perspective in my book WHAT WIVES WISH THEIR HUSBANDS KNEW ABOUT WOMEN, because I believe it is valid.

   But every story has two sides, and John's version should also be told. His wife is wrong to believe that her contentment is exclusively his burden. No one should be expected to carry another person emotionally. Only Diane can make herself happy! She has no right to lay that total load on John. A good marriage is one in which the dominant needs are met with the relationship, but where each spouse develops individual identity, interests and friendships. This may be the most delicate tightrope act in marriage. Extreme independence is as destructive to a relationship as total dependence.

I remember counseling a bright young lady whom I'll call Janet. She came to me because she seemed to be losing the affection of her husband. Frank appeared bored when he was at home and he refused to take her out with him. On weekends, he went sailing with his friends despite the bitter protests of his wife. She had begged for his attention for months, but the slippage continued.

I hypothesized that Janet was invading Frank's territory and needed to recapture the challenge that made him want to marry her. Thus, I suggested that she retreat into her own world--stop "reaching" for him when he was at home--schedule some personal activities independently of his availability, etc. Simultaneously, I urged her to give him vague explanations about why her personality had changed. She was instructed not to display anger or discontent, allowing Frank to draw his own conclusions about what she was thinking. My purpose was to change his frame of reference. In stead of his thinking, "How can I escape from this woman who is driving me crazy,' I wanted him to wonder, "What's going on? Am I losing Janet? Have I pushed her too far? Has she found someone else?"

   The results were dramatic. About a week after the change of manner was instituted, Janet and Frank were at home together one evening. After several hours of uninspired conversation and yawns, Janet told her husband that she was rather tired and wanted to go to bed. She said goodnight matter-of-factly and went to her bedroom. About thirty minutes later, Frank threw open the door and turned on the light. He proceeded to make passionate love to her, later saying that he couldn't stand the barrier that had come between them. It was precisely that barrier which Janet had complained about for months. Her approach had been so overbearing that she was driving him away from her. When she changed her direction, Frank also threw his truck in reverse. It often happens that way. 



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What Jesus Said About Divorce

What Jesus Said About Divorce - By DANIEL THIMONS - (Excepts: Visit link for complete column.) In the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 19, we read the account where the Pharisees approached Jesus to test him, and offered him a challenge. "Some Pharisees approached him, and tested him, saying 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?'" (Mt 19:3) Notice, the Pharisees were not asking whether or not divorce is lawful, but rather they were asking Jesus about the appropriate grounds for divorce of which he considers to be lawful. This question was proposed to Christ by two different schools of the Pharisees. On one hand was the Hillel School which claimed that any number of reasons could be grounds for divorce as long as the man gave the woman a bill of divorce. On the other hand, the Shammai School claimed that a man could divorce his wife only for very serious reasons, such as infidelity. So, this question was proposed to Jesus to test him on his interpretation of the Mosaic Law found in the Book of Deuteronomy, "When a man, after marrying a woman and having relations with her, is later displeased with her because he finds in her something indecent, and therefore he writes out a bill of divorce and hands it to her, thus dismissing her from his house" (Deuteronomy 24:1).

   The Pharisees question is one of a subjective vs. objective interpretation of this passage from Deuteronomy. The Hillel School took a more subjective approach to its interpretation, emphasizing that it is the man who "finds in her" something indecent. While the Shammai School took a more objective approach, claiming that there arecertain definitive criteria to determine what is "indecent." The Pharisees question is also this: Should the Mosaic Law with regard to divorce be interpreted in the man's favor (Hillel) or in the woman's favor (Shammai)? It is a question which places a specific interpretation of the man's rights under Mosaic Law against the compassion and fidelity that is owed to a faithful wife.

   If Jesus answered that divorce was only lawful for serious reasons such as infidelity, those in the Hillel School would claim that he was not honoring a man's rights in the law handed down from Moses. On the other hand, if Jesus answered that a man could divorce his wife for any number of reasons; those in the Shammai School would claim that Jesus has little or no compassion for women. This question of the Pharisees is one that continues to resound to this day. It could be summed up as a question of the law vs. love, doctrine vs. compassion, theology vs. pastoral charity.

   It is striking that Jesus does not enter this debate on the grounds that it was proposed. But, rather his answer reveals that according to the Divine plan, there is no opposition between the law and love, between doctrine and compassion, between theology and pastoral charity. Christ's answer to the Pharisees demonstrates that God's law is a law of love, that His doctrine on marriage is full of compassion, and that theology and pastoral charity are always united. "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female' and said, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh"? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate."(Mt 19:4-6).

   Christ's doctrine on marriage is one that is full of love, because it reveals the very essence of love. Love by its very nature is faithful, forever, and fruitful. Love is always grounded on truth, as it does not permit lies or deception. A temporary agreement could rightly be called a legal contract, but love knows no end. And love is never selfish or self-seeking but rather always expands in service to another. Christ reveals that a husband and wife are called to the Law of Love that is inscribed in our nature by the Creator "from the beginning." Yet, the Pharisees continue to argue on the grounds of the Mosaic Law. "[The Pharisees] said to him, 'Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss [her]?'" [Jesus] said to them, "Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so." (Mt 19:7-8).

   The Pharisees response to the Divine teaching about the indissolubility of marriage is to again invoke the Law of Moses. Christ again responds by revealing the truth about marriage "from the beginning." The concession that Moses granted which allowed for divorce was not an act of mercy, but rather an explicit recognition of the need for a savior. The people, on their own accord, were simply incapable of loving one another as God loves. Their "hearts" had become "hardened" and darkened by sin. Moses could not save the people from their sin. In the hardness of their hearts, the law of God had become burdensome, and so Moses permitted divorce for a time, awaiting a redeemer who could turn their hearts of stone into natural hearts, hearts capable of love. (See Ezekiel 11:19.)

   It is important to note that Moses was not acting out of mercy, but out of obligation when he permitted divorce. Mercy always recognizes the full weight of sin, a weight that demands the punishment of death. Christ is the One capable of exercising mercy, because as the sinless One, he accepted the just punishment for our sins and offered the forgiveness of God. Our works of mercy, the mercy that we show to others, are only true mercy if these works are connected to the Sacrifice of Christ on the Cross. Mercy always recognizes the full evil of sin, but Christ's mercy allows sinners a new opportunity to reform their lives and live according to the truth that will set us free. (See John 8:32.)

   The mercy of Christ with regard to the teaching on the indissolubility of marriage is demonstrated most poignantly in John Chapter 8, the passage of the woman caught in adultery. We see here how the law and love, doctrine and compassion, theology and pastoral charity, are perfectly compatible in Christ's great act of mercy towards the woman. Again, the Pharisees try to trap Jesus. But, Jesus answers in a way that is full of mercy as he clearly recognizes the truth of the reality of sin while forgiving the sinner. Christ always meets people where they are, but he never leaves them where they are. One who encounters Christ is always changed, as we can presume that the woman caught in adultery did not later return to her sinful ways following a brief period of penance.

   Cardinal Carlo Caffarra in his March 14, 2014 interview in Il Foglio, beautifully described the Mercy of Christ given to the woman caught in adultery. "For a woman caught in the very act, the demands of the Mosaic Law were clear: she should be stoned to death. In fact the Pharisees asked Jesus what he thought precisely in order to draw him into their perspective. If he had said 'stone her' they would have replied: 'Look, He preaches mercy and eats with sinners but when it comes to it even he says 'stone her.' If he had said "don't stone her" they would have replied: "And this is where mercy leads us: it destroys the Law and every legal and moral bond." This is the typical view of casuistic morality which takes you into a blind alley where you have to choose between the person and upholding the norm. The Pharisees try to trap Jesus in this blind alley. But Jesus doesn't accept their perspective at all; he says that adultery is a great evil and that it destroys humanity, also of the person who commits this act. Jesus, in order to overcome this evil, doesn't condemn the person who has committed this act; rather he cures the person of this great evil and commands her not to enter into this evil again. "Neither do I condemn you. Go and do not sin again." This is the mercy of which only the Lord is capable. This is the mercy which the Church, from one generation to the next, announces.

   In the beautiful passage of Christ's response to the woman caught in adultery, Jesus demonstrates the truth about mercy, love, and forgiveness. And, this truth about love and mercy is our hope as Christians. Christ offers us the capacity and the ability to change, "relying not on our own strength, but on the help and grace of the Holy Spirit." (CCC 1817) Christ calls us to love in a way that we are not capable of on our own. In his Incarnation, Christ does not destroy our human nature but elevates it, revealing our true calling to live as sons and daughters of God.

   Christ's teaching on the indissolubility of marriage may seem outdated in modern times or difficult to accept, but his teaching is clear and unequivocal, held by the Church for nearly 2,000 years. "I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery" (Mt 19:9).
Jesus clearly demonstrates the truth about marriage, that it is ordained by God to last "until death."
Marriage reveals the truth about God's love, a love that is faithful to the end. Truth and love, theology and pastoral charity, are perfectly united in this teaching of Christ.


Violating God's Design Satan's counterfeit deception
Why the evil one is attacking and undermining God's foundation of the human race.

Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled; but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4

What has been the result of defiling the marriage bed? Broken relationships and disease. Why, because it violates God's design and we reap what we sow.


What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. 1 Corinthians 6:16

But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery. Matthew 5:32 

No Civilization Without Restraint: Wise Words From 1939 - By J. Stonestreet & K. Leander ...If the energy spent talking about sex is disproportionate, it’s important to know there were some who saw this coming. The best example is Oxford sociologist J.D. Unwin. In 1939, Unwin published a landmark book summarizing his research. Sex and Culture was a look at 80 tribes and six historical civilizations over the course of five millennia, through the lens of a single question: Does a culture’s ideas of sexual liberation predict its success or collapse?  Unwin’s findings were overwhelming: “Just as societies have advanced [and] then faded away into a state of general decrepitude, so in each of them has marriage first previously changed from a temporary affair based on mutual consent to a lifelong association of one man with one woman, and then turned back to a loose union or to polygamy. ” What’s more, Unwin concluded, “The whole of human history does not contain a single instance of a group becoming civilized unless it has been absolutely monogamous, nor is there any example of a group retaining its culture after it has adopted less rigorous customs.” ...Human sexuality is not some arbitrary construct like a speed limit. It is as much a part of the fabric of life as gravity. We may deny that, but we will not avoid the pain of hitting the ground if we do.


Decentering Marriage - By Colin Smothers - As the institution of marriage continues to implode in the West, there seems to be a growing and near-universal apprehension about the social vacuum it is leaving behind. While most conservatives continue to advocate for the good of marriage by pointing to the central role it has played throughout human history in creating healthy and just societies, more and more progressives are searching for a marriage replacement.

   ...The Bible teaches that the husband-wife relationship is unique among human relationships. No other human relationship is described as two becoming one. No other human relationship is given the divine blessing for the fulfillment of our God-given sexuality. And no other human relationship is given the divine blessing for procreation in order to propagate the human race. Because of this, no other human relationship is as necessary for the continuation and flourishing of the human race than marriage. What is more, the Bible begins and ends with a marriage, Adam and Eve in the garden in the beginning of all things typify the marriage of Christ and his church at the end of all things. Does the Bible's centralization of marriage then denigrate other human relationships, such as friendship? On the contrary! Marriage enables and informs all other relationships. Marriage is the cornerstone of family, and family is the foundation of human society, but human society consists in variegated relationships.

Marriage: What It Is, Why It Matters, and the Consequences of Redefining It By Ryan T. Anderson - [I]f marriage has no form and serves no social purpose, how will society protect the needs of children -- the prime victim of our non-marital sexual culture -- without government growing more intrusive and more expensive? Marriage exists to bring a man and a woman together as husband and wife to be father and mother to any children their union produces. Marriage benefits everyone because separating the bearing and rearing of children from marriage burdens innocent bystanders: not just children, but the whole community. ... Government recognizes traditional marriage because it benefits society in a way that no other relationship or institution does. Marriage is society's least restrictive means of ensuring the well-being of children. State recognition of marriage protects children by encouraging men and women to commit to each other and take responsibility for their children. Promoting marriage does not ban any type of relationship: Adults are free to make choices about their relationships, and they do not need government sanction or license to do so. All Americans have the freedom to live as they choose, but no one has a right to redefine marriage for everyone else. The future of this country depends on the future of marriage, and the future of marriage depends on citizens understanding what it is and why it matters and demanding that government policies support, not undermine, true marriage.

Sir John Robertson, the Medical Officer of Health for Birmingham, UK 1918 - In the first place, I am convinced that the only true prevention for civilians is sexual morality. The alternative which is suggested, of teaching the use of and supplying prophylactic outfits, will more surely destroy the family life of this nation than any other method you could advocate. To destroy the family is to destroy the nation. It was to similar methods that the glory of ancient Rome owed its eclipse.'

Paul depicted the homosexual results "which is against nature." Many facets of this lifestyle "without excuse" include "foolish hearts darkened, reprobate mind, uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies between themselves, vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet. Filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them." Romans 1:18-32

What the mainstream media doesn't report: The increase in children being born out of wedlock in Scandinavia since marriage was redefined! William Murray, the chairman of the Religious Freedom Coalition, warns of the dangers of legalizing same-sex marriage in the United States. He says Scandinavia has had nearly a decade of legal homosexual marriage, and it has nearly destroyed the institution of marriage altogether. More details: (Excerpts: ...In Scandinavia, illegitimate birth rates exceed 50 percent. The majority of Swedish and Norwegian children are born out of wedlock, and 60 percent of first-born children in Denmark have unmarried parents. Meanwhile, marriage rates subtly decline while, in some countries, divorce rates have skyrocketed to nearly 80 percent. ...Still, as Kurtz noted, such studies have been done. He says they showed that "throughout Scandinavia (and the West) cohabiting couples with children break up at two to three times the rate of married parents. So rising rates of cohabitation and out-of-wedlock birth stand as proxy for rising rates of family dissolution.")

"Goes Against Nature"  
Teaching our children what "goes against nature" as "normal"

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