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He That Has Ears To Hear, Let Him Hear
(
Matthew 11:15-30
)
Challenging both secular wisdom and religious doctrines. - Will our descendants know moral virtue?
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Children
And you shall love the LORD thy God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words, which I command you this day, shall be in your heart: And you shall teach them diligently unto your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up. Deuteronomy 6:5-7
And, you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
My, son hear the instruction of your father, and forsake not the law of your mother. Proverbs 1:8
Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. Proverbs 4:1
He that begets a fool does it to his sorrow: and the father of a fool has no joy. A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him. Proverbs 17:21,25
For the children are not obligated to store up for the parents, but the parents for the children. 2 Corinthians 12:14b (PNT)
Scriptures concerning Young Children & Older Children
Further Resources
Family - Scriptures and more
Marriage - Between one man and one woman, the foundation of civil society.
Resources - Parenting and children helpful resources, assistance, protection, safety, etc.
Resources for Parents, Children, & Teens Items, issues & resources included on this page include: Talking to your kids, Safety, Protection (online, bullying, etc.), Clinical, Television, Hotels, Gay family members, more....
"To
give children a good education in manners, arts and science is important; to
give them a religious education is indispensable; and an immense responsibility
rests on parents and guardians who neglect these duties." --Daniel
Webster "The joys of parents are
secret, and so are their griefs and fears: they cannot utter the one, nor will
they utter the other." --Sir Francis Bacon
Where Do Children Go When They Die? - By Brian Fischer - What happens to
children who die but weren't old enough to make a decision for Christ? The Bible
offers clues and hope. ...While we certainly might wish there was more
information on this matter in Scripture, there is enough to give us a sense of
assurance about the eternal destination of children who die early. ...Perhaps
the clearest passage concerns David and the son he conceived in his adulterous
liaison with Bathsheba (2
Samuel 12:15-23). ...When talking about where children go when they die,
questions about the age of accountability flow naturally from the conversation.
Again, while we certainly could wish for more information on this topic, the
Bible is clear enough to give us some definitive answers. That there is an
"age
of accountability" is evident from a very famous passage in Scripture found in Isaiah
7:14-16. ..."He shall eat curds and honey when he knows how to refuse the
evil and choose the good. For before the boy knows how to refuse the evil and
choose the good, the land whose two kings you dread will be deserted" (Isaiah
7:15-16). ...In the Jewish culture in which Jesus
grew up, boys went through what today is called a "bar mitzvah" at age 12. ("Bar
mitzvah" literally means "a son of the law.") At age 12, a boy was no longer to be considered a boy
but a young man, who now had responsibility to make mature decisions and be held
accountable for his own behavior. Before age 12, his parents were held
accountable for his behavior, but from age 12 and on he was to accept full
responsibility for his own decisions. This is why Jesus was in the Temple at
age 12, "sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them
questions" (Luke 2:46).
Every adult male had a responsibility to be in Jerusalem for the major feasts,
and Jesus was now regarded, at age 12, as an adult male with adult
responsibilities.
EarsToHear.net Note: Some additional Scripture to consider...
1 Corinthians 7:13-14 - And
the woman which has an husband that believes not, and if he be pleased to dwell
with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by
the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your
children unclean; but now are they holy.
John 9:41 Jesus said unto them, If
ye were blind, ye should have no sin: but now ye say, We see; therefore your sin
remains.(Romans 2:11-13, 5:13, 7:7)
An Important Message For Parents Who Feel Guilty - Exchange Truth for
Lies - By
Tom and
Dena Yohe - Your child is in jail. They have an eating disorder. They cut
and slash their flesh, burn themselves and break bones. They're addicted to
porn, sex, drugs, or alcohol. They're in a relationship with the same sex. They
suffer from depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, PTSD or an anxiety disorder.
They've attempted suicide. You can�t understand how you got here. How could this
happen? Where did you go wrong?
...Please listen closely. I want you to hear something
vitally important. Unless you encouraged your child's behaviors or pushed them
into their current situation with your blessing, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! Did you
hear that?
...I met another parent who had walked this journey
much longer than I had. He reminded me of something I needed to hear and would
need to remember for years to come. His words still have a huge impact. This is
the essence of what he said: "Stop feeling guilty about your child because God,
the only perfect parent who never made any mistakes, also has children who mess
up and do terrible things. Look what happened to Adam and Eve. Was their
behavior Gods fault? Not at all! Our parenting skills can't begin to compare
with God's, so if the all-powerful God of the universe ended up with children
who hurt and disappoint Him, who are we to think that we deserve any better?" ...You probably want to think about this for a while.
It'll take time for these words sink into your heart and mind until you can
believe they're really true. Where you feel the need, forgive yourself and
accept God's forgiveness. But please know that He doesn't blame you for your
child's choices. He looks on you with compassion and empathy. As a fellow
hurting parent, He understands the heaviness you carry. I'm convinced He doesn't
want you to add more to the weight you already bear. The following Scripture
gives me peace when I start to blame myself. Its truth sheds light on what we
can all do when we have a guilt attack: "For we have no power to face this vast
army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, BUT
our eyes are on you" (2 Chronicles 20:12). Amen!
Parents - Are You a Yeller? By Dr. Meg Meeker - Kids
who are yelled at by their parents are more likely to have depression and
behavior problems, a new study in Child Development finds. This is no surprise,
so why do a study? I think we need studies like this so that academics can
remind us parents to take our jobs seriously. I know that I do. Words cut
deeply, particularly the words that flow from a parent's mouth to a child, whether
that child is 6 or 66. ...So when a parent screams at a child, the pain
cuts deeply. Some parenting experts say that kids don't hear parents scream
because they tune them out. I completely disagree. Kids hear alright; they just
pretend not to hear because they simply don't know what to do with the hurt.
No, the Era of Spanking Is Not Over - By Bryan Fischer
The Secret to Discipline: Action Not Anger Does yelling and getting
angry as a parent really help you in disciplining your children?
Dr. Dobson doesn't think so. Watch this classic lesson on why action is more
important than anger when it comes to a child's obedience.
Watch Part 2: Linking Behavior To Consequences
Boys and Girls are Different! (Here's why) - By Dr.
James Dobson - The basis of our society hinges upon understanding that
God created boys and girls differently as part of His master plan of creation.
Any uncertainty or confusion on our part as parents on this topic will be
damaging, not only to our sons and daughters but also to the long-term stability
of our world. ...It is also important for us as adults to understand our
own sexual identities. If we don't know who we are, our kids will be doubly
confused about who they are. ...[Television talk-show
host Phil ] Donahue's feminist girlfriend and
later wife, Marlo Thomas, coauthored a best-selling book at about the same time
titledFree to Be You and Me, which the publishers described as "the first real
guide to nonsexist child rearing." It urged boys to play with dolls and tea sets
and told them they could be anything they wanted to be, including (no kidding!)
"grandmas and mommies." It featured dozens of poems and stories about role
reversals, such as a mother nailing shingles on the roof, building new shelves
in the family room, and working with cement. Meanwhile, Father was in the
kitchen making breakfast. Every effort was made to teach kids that fathers made
great moms and mothers were pretty tough dudes. The book sold several million
copies. And the movement had only just begun. "We've had a lot
of people in this country who have had the courage to raise their daughters more
like their sons. Which is great because it means they're more equal... But there
are many fewer people who have had the courage to raise their sons more like
their daughters. And that's what needs to be done. We need to stop raising boys
to think that they need to prove their masculinity by being controlling or by
not showing emotion or by not being little girls. You can ask [boys] . . . "What
if you were a little girl?" They get very upset at the very idea they might be
this inferior thing. They've already got this idea that in order to be boys,
they have to be superior to girls and that's the problem. [Marriage is] not an
equal partnership. I mean, you lose your name, your credit rating, your legal
residence, and socially, you're treated as if his identity were yours. I can't
imagine being married. If everybody has to get married, then clearly it is a
prison, not a choice. (Steinem married in 2000.) All women are supposed to want
children. But I could never drum up any feelings of regret." Think for a moment about the above quotes from Steinem, Greer, and
the other early feminists. Most of them were never married, didn't like
children, and deeply resented men, yet they advised millions of women about how
to raise their children and, especially, how to produce healthy boys. There is
no evidence that Steinem or Greer ever had any significant experience with
children of either sex. Isn't it interesting that the media (to my knowledge)
never homed in on that incongruity? And isn't it sad that these women were
allowed to twist and warp the attitudes of a generation of kids? ...Unfortunately, the ideas that were spawned in
the seventies and perpetuated in a different form today are deeply ingrained in
the culture, even though they have never made sense. Child-rearing practices
have been forever changed. Many parents, for example, are reluctant or ill
equipped to teach their boys how they are different from girls or what their
masculinity really means. There is also a new source of confusion emanating from
the powerful gay and lesbian agenda. Its propagandists are teaching a
revolutionary view of sexuality called "gender feminism," which insists that sex
assignment is irrelevant. Genetics can be simply overridden. What matters is the
"gender" selected for us by parents when we are babies, or the sex role we
choose for ourselves later in life. Mary Brown Parlee articulated this
perspective in Psychology Today. "The sex 'assigned' to a baby at birth is
as much a social decision as a recognition of biological fact." ...Clearly, there
are serious implications here for mothers and fathers. I urge you to protect
your boys from those who are espousing these postmodern views. Shield both your
sons and daughters from gender feminism and from those who would seek to confuse
their sexuality. Protect the masculinity of your boys, who will be under
increasing political pressure in years to come. Buffer them from the perception
that most adult males are sexual predators who are violent and disrespectful to
women.
According to the CDC, DOJ, DHHS
and the Bureau of the Census, the 30 percent
of children who live apart from their fathers will account for
63 percent of teen suicides,
70 percent of juveniles in state-operated
institutions, 71 percent of high-school
dropouts, 75 percent of children in
chemical-abuse centers, 80 percent of
rapists, 85 percent of youths in prison, and
85 percent of children who exhibit
behavioral disorders. In addition, 90 percent
of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. In fact,
children born to unwed mothers are 10 times more likely to live in poverty as
children with fathers in the home.
(PatriotPost)
Why French Kids Don't Have ADHD - French children don't need medications to
control their behavior. - By
Marilyn
Wedge Ph.D.Suffer
the Children -
French parents, Druckerman observes, love their
children just as much as American parents. They give them piano lessons, take
them to sports practice,
and encourage them to make the most of their talents. But French parents have a
different philosophy of
discipline. Consistently enforced limits, in the French view, make children feel
safe and secure. Clear limits, they believe, actually make a child feel happier
and safer, something that is congruent with my own experience as both a therapist
and a parent. Finally, French parents believe that hearing the word "no" rescues
children from the "tyranny of their own desires." And spanking, when used
judiciously, is not considered child
abuse in France.
Coddling Kids Has This End Result - By
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY/EAGLE FORUM
- For nearly a generation, American parents have been infantilizing their
children, shielding them from failure, and passing the blame to anyone but the
child whenever the child has done something wrong. Awards for winning have been
replaced by participation trophies, depriving kids of the valuable life lessons
that come with failure. Bad grades are blamed on the teacher rather than the
student, depriving young people of the push to reach their full academic
potential. We are just now starting to see what this coddling has done to a
generation of young people as they go off to college. Not surprisingly, the
results are not good.
College counseling offices are now
swarming with students who cannot handle the smallest issues by themselves. In
one instance, two students dialed 911 and sought counseling after seeing a
mouse, claiming to have been traumatized by this. Dan Jones, the former
president of the Association for University and College Counseling Center
Directors, hit the nail on the head when he said that "Students haven't
developed the skills to soothe themselves, because their parents have solved all
their problems and removed obstacles. They don't seem to have as much grit as
previous generations."
Another sign that American young
people are not as resilient as they should be is the introduction of the concept
of "trigger warnings" in classrooms. Trigger warnings are devices used to warn
students when something that a teacher will say might be physically or
emotionally distressing. It's time for American colleges to stop coddling
students and give them an education that includes all-important topics,
including those that are not politically correct. Students need to be allowed to
fail so they can learn the lessons that come with failure.
Instruction & Discipline: Driven by love, not in anger or
frustration, but in love, to provide a foundational structure and a moral
compass for a virtuous direction in life. This parental love should override the
emotional excuse of guilt, if a working parent. Parental obligations need also
to reject "being friends" with their children when providing direction.
Children - Train up a child in the way he
should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
In Defense of
Spanking By
Bryan Fischer - Adrian Peterson was right to spank, but wrong to
break the skin. The star running back for the
Minnesota Vikings is in trouble with the law and with the NFL for spanking
his son with a switch, spanking him hard enough on the back of the legs to break
the skin. There are photographs of the scabs that formed on the places where
Peterson hit his son hard enough to cause bleeding. In the mad rush to hang
Peterson from the nearest tree and further criminalize parenting, we will hear
voices arguing that spanking itself is a form of child abuse. It isn't. In fact,
the Bible indicates it is a form of child abuse to withhold corporal punishment
when a child needs it.
Raising Kids in Just 18 Summers - By
Todd Starnes - My dear
friend Michelle Cox has written a novel that every parent in America needs to
read. It's called, "Just
18 Summers." She reminds us that we have just 18 summers before our children
leave home. Just 18 summers. "I hope parents will realize how quickly those
summers will fly by," she told me. "Take it from a mama whose sons are all grown
now, someday you'd give a million dollars to walk down the hall one more time
and tuck your children into bed, to kneel down and pray with them, to hear their
footsteps and the sound of their laughter filling the house." DAY CARE
BLUES - By
BILL MUEHLENBERG - Over 30 years ago social analyst Peter Drucker wrote this
about the rise and rise of Western daycare, "We are busily unmaking one of the
proudest social achievements in the nineteenth century, which was to take
married women out of the work force so they could devote themselves to family
and children." If he was rightly shocked back then by this development, his head
would be reeling now. Today we have an entire generation of young people who are
being raised by strangers, and not their own parents. While radical feminists
and social engineers would applaud such changes, no one concerned about the
wellbeing of children should. Please
Spank Your Kids by Joe
Wurzelbacher - Recently, a California court has sided with a mother who was
placed on a state child abuse database after spanking her 12-year-old daughter.
She claimed a parental right to impose reasonable discipline on her child, who
was slacking off in school. The court agreed: "Reasonable" corporal punishment
is a legitimate disciplinary measure. o
Jeff Johnston Talks About How to Teach Your Children About Marriage
by Bethany Monk - Focus on the Family has created "Teach
Your Children About Marriage."
Raising Children of Light in a Culture of Darkness by Matt Barber -
"I do
not want to drive across a bridge designed by an engineer who believed the
numbers in structural stress models are relative truths." --R.C. Sproul ...I
submit that "raising Christian children in today's culture" and "training
champions for Christ" are one in the same, and that both fruitful endeavors stem
from the same rich soil. Truth. But what is today's
culture exactly? What is a champion for Christ? And, perhaps most importantly,
what, or Who, is truth? Merriam Webster's defines "champion" as, someone who fights or speaks publicly in support of a person, belief, cause,
etc." It is not merely a passing suggestion that Christian parents and educators
train champions for Christ. It's a command given us by God Himself: "Start
children off on the way they should go (train them), and even when they are old
they will not turn from it" (Proverbs 22:6).
Christian Parents Try New Strategy to Help Millennials Grow Up --/Christian
Newswire/ -- It's a question that nags at every parent: "Have I successfully
prepared my child for life on their own?" Just One More Thing is a practical
guide to help teens transition out of their parents' home and into the rest of
their lives. When the Gudgels' oldest child reached his senior year of high
school, they began to get a little frantic. "It started as an experiment," said
David Gudgel about his book. "I wanted to make sure I had done my best to teach
my son about the hard topics of life." So Author & Pastor David Gudgel wrote out
a list of topics to discuss with his son over Saturday breakfasts throughout
that year. Kind of a last minute effort to be a really good parent. According to
his son it was a surprisingly great experience, so the Gudgels repeated the
process with their other two children. Then others began asking for the lessons
to use with their kids too. And the result was the book Just One More Thing:
Before You Leave Home.
New
Publishing Company Equips Parents to Teach Kids About Christ --/Christian
Newswire/ -- Will we have wings in heaven? Will the boy in my class who
doesn't believe in God go to Hell? Does God really have a beard? These are just
examples of the many questions parents regularly get asked by their kids about
religion. And while church and Sunday school can be a vital place for little
ones to learn about God, do parents have enough resources to share with young
children about Christ in the home? Graham Blanchard is a start-up publishing
company founded by writer and educational content developer Callie Grant to
encourage and equip parents to actively teach their children about the love and
character of God. Grant, a former member of the Scholastic Inc. development team
in Palo Alto, Calif., founded the company after struggling to find trade books
for her young daughter to help nurture a firmer foundation with God in the
important early years. It was then she decided to combine her knowledge of
educational publishing with her passion for sharing God's love with children,
and formed Graham Blanchard Inc. (For more information please visit
www.grahamblanchard.com.)
Bible ranks low as resource for parenting Allie Marin - OneNewsNow - A
survey finds that while most parents want to improve their parenting skills, few
look to the church or God's Word for guidance. The survey was conducted by
LifeWay
Research, the research arm of LifeWay Christian Resources of the Southern
Baptist Convention. According to the results, 96 percent of parents said they
try to be better parents. However, 60 percent of parents use their own
experiences as the primary source of guidance when it comes to parenting. And
only 14 percent said they are very familiar with what the Bible says about
parenting.
D.L. Moody stated: "It is a masterpiece of the devil to make us believe that
children cannot understand religion. Would Christ have made a child the standard
of faith if He had known that it was not capable of understanding His words?"
Mark 10:13-14 - And they brought young children to him, that he
should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when
Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little
children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of
God.
Dr. James Dobson Delivers Clear Mandate for the Family - /Christian
Newswire/ -- Dr. James Dobson capped his four-night, two-weekend,
BUILDING A FAMILY LEGACY event
with a ringing call to parents to be active, involved and, most of all, present
in the lives of their children. "Culture flows like a powerful river, and it is
extremely difficult to prevent your kids from being swept downstream into
unknown waters," said Dr. Dobson, the author of 30 best sellers including
The Strong-Willed Child and
Bringing Up Girls. "You must not become distracted from your ultimate
priority, which is to raise healthy children and introduce them to Jesus
Christ."
PARENTING AND MARRIAGE VIDEOS - Dr. James Dobson's
90-Second Commentary Videos
Principles that help in parenting 1. Rules Without
Relationships Lead to Rebellion Kids don't respond to rules, they respond to
rules in the context of a loving, intimate relationship. It is much easier to
establish rules, to pass on your values and beliefs, and to discipline, if you
have developed a relational foundation with your child. 2. Kids Spell Love
T-I-M-E One of the most important ways to communicate a child's personal worth
is to spend time with them. When you are available to your children, it says,
"You are important." When we're not available, we are saying in essence, "I love
you, but other things still come ahead of you." Years ago, my wife gave me a
great piece of advice: "If you spend time with your children now, they will
spend time with you later." 3. Catch Your Kids Doing Something Right and Praise
Them for It Instead of catching your kids doing something wrong and disciplining
them for it, try focusing on catching them doing something right and appreciate
them for it. So often kids tell me, "The fastest way to get my dad's attention
is to do something wrong." Expressing appreciation gives children a sense of
significance. Our appreciation tells them they are valued, and their
accomplishments make a difference to someone. 'The
most popular child-rearing book ever' is back! Practical guide to bringing
up kids based on biblical wisdom - 2010 WorldNetDaily - After
raising his own six children and learning many things the hard way, author
and pastor Reb Bradley wrote a practical guide to bringing up kids that
uses biblical wisdom as its basis. Entitled simply
"Child Training Tips," Bradley's book presents common obstacles to
successful parenting and solutions to help overcome them. "It's the most
popular child-rearing book ever at WND," says Joseph Farah, the website's
founder, editor and CEO. There was just one little problem, said Farah.
The book kept selling out. But now it's back in quantities in the WND
Superstore. Give ear, O my people, to my
law: incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a
parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: Which we have heard and known, and
our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, showing
to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his
wonderful works that he has done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, and
appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make
them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even
the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their
children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of
God, but keep his commandments: And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn
and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright, and
whose spirit was not steadfast with God. The children of Ephraim, being armed,
and carrying bows, turned back in the day of battle. They kept not the covenant
of God, and refused to walk in his law; And forget his works, and his wonders
that he had showed them. Psalms 78:1-11
Except the LORD build the
house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the
watchman wakes but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late,
to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he gives his beloved sleep. Lo, children are
an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are
in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that
hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak
with the enemies in the gate. Psalms 127
Making Space for Character in a Tech-overloaded World by Lindy
Keffer - We live in a culture saturated by technology. The information,
promotions, opportunities and noise it creates seem to fill in the cracks
of our already-busy lives so that every waking moment is occupied. In the
midst of the hubbub, teachable moments for developing character are often
lost. But parents who are intentional about finding those moments can
succeed at raising kids with moral fiber, and at creating small pockets
of sanity in a tech-overloaded world. ...Our techno-gadgetry allows us to
stay in contact with so many different friends that we're often guilty of
ignoring the people in the room with us in favor of those we're talking to
online or on the cell phone. Furthermore, we sometimes interact
long-distance in ways that we wouldn't up close, and intimacy is lost. It
takes some intentionality to ensure that real, high-touch bonds get
maintained in an age of cyber-communication.
Research Shows
Kids Learn Right, Wrong at a Young Age
For he has strengthened the bars of your gates;
he has blessed your children within you.
Psalms 147:13
...In the case of defiant and contrary children, "spanking...has been shown to
result in less defiance and less aggression than 77% of alternative measures
(including time-out) with these children."
..."Folly is bound up in the heart of a child; but the rod of discipline drives
it far from him" (Proverbs 22:15).
...Now to be sure, discipline must be measured, controlled, and appropriate.
..."Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to
discipline him" (Proverbs 13:24).
..."The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to
his mother" (Proverbs 29:15)
...But loving discipline, on the other hand, yields fruit that is sweet to the
taste.
..."Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your
heart" (Proverbs 29:17).
...The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that we don't spank our
children. God recommends that we do. I think I'm going with God on this one.
Germaine Greer, author of The Female Eunuch, was even more extreme.
She said the traditional family had "castrated women." She believed mothers
should be less nurturing of their daughters because to treat them gently and
kindly would reinforce sexual stereotypes and make them more "dependent" and
feminine. Greer also insisted that children are better off being raised by
institutions rather than parents. It is difficult to believe today that her book
offering those and similarly outrageous views also soared to the top of all the
best-seller lists. That illustrates just how culturally dominant radical
feminism was at that time.
Perhaps the most influential of the early feminists was Gloria
Steinem, founder of the National Organization for Women and editor of Ms.
Magazine. Here is a sampling of her perspective on marriage and child rearing:
It is also important for us as adults to understand our own sexual
identities. If we don't know who we are, our kids will be doubly confused about
who they are. Any uncertainty, any ambiguity in that assignment must be seen as
damaging not only to our sons and daughters but also to the long-term stability
of society itself.
Finally, I urge you to base your teachings about sexuality on the
Scriptures, which tell us, "God created man in his own image, in the image of
God he created him; male and female he created them" (Genesis 1:27). Jesus, who
was the first Jewish leader to give dignity and status to women, said, "Haven't
you read . . . that at the beginning the Creator "made them male and female,"
and, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to
his wife, and the two will become one flesh" (Matthew 19:4-5). That is the
divine plan. It leaves no doubt that the Creator made not one sex but two, each
beautifully crafted to "fit with" and meet the needs of the other. Any effort to
teach children differently is certain to produce turmoil in the soul of a child.Looking Back
- By Thomas Sowell - (Excerpts) After my 85th birthday last
week, I looked back over my life and was surprised to discover in how many
different ways I had been lucky, in addition to some other ways in which I was
unlucky. Among the things I did not know at the time was that I was adopted as
an infant into a family with four adults, in which I was the only child. All
sorts of research since then has shown how the amount of attention and
interactions with adults a child gets has a lot to do with the way the child
develops. But of course I knew nothing about such things back then. It was
decades later, when I now had a son of my own that I asked one of the surviving
members of the family how old I was when I first started to walk. She said, "Oh,
Tommy, nobody knows when you could walk. Somebody was always carrying you." ..."Although I was raised by people with very little education, they were people who
wanted me to get an education. They praised my every little accomplishment when
I was very young, and I was taught to read by the time I was four years old,
taught by someone with only a few years of schooling herself. Years later, when
I was promoted to the 7th grade, I was surprised by what a commotion it caused.
Then I was told: "You have now gone further than any of us."
- He that begets a fool does it to his sorrow: and the father of a fool has no
joy. A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare
him. Proverbs 17:21,25
- He that spares his rod hates his son: but he that loves him chastens him
betimes. Proverbs 13:24
- Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall
drive it far from him. Proverbs 22:15
- Withhold not correction from the child; for if you beats him with the rod, he
shall not die. Proverbs 23:13
- The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself brings his mother
to shame. Correct your son, and he shall give you rest; yea, he shall give
delight unto thy soul. Proverbs 29:15,17
(...Or perhaps as a parent you believe Dr. Spock and Benjamin Siegel M.D.
possess more wisdom than the Word of God?)
We have taken God out of our educational systems and thought we could get away
with it. We have sown the wind, and we are now reaping the whirlwind. We have
laughed at God, religion and the Bible.
Many of our educational leaders sneer at the old-fashioned idea of God and a
moral code. Movies feature sex, sin, crime and alcohol. Teenagers see these
things portrayed alluringly on the screen and decide to go and try them.
Newspapers have played up crime and sex until they seem glamorous to our young
people.
Instead of publicizing the good and constructive things that teenagers do, we
have played up the sensational lawbreaker. We have taught our young people that
morals are relative and not absolute.
At the heart of the problem is the failure of parents in the home. Evangelist
Billy Sunday once said, "If you want to lick the devil, hit him over the head
with a cradle." Parents today are not interested, apparently, in defeating the
devil in the home. There seems to be little parental responsibility for
discipline. Children are allowed to go wild.
One parent said, "I pay for my boy's clothes, I feed him. I give him an
allowance; what more do you expect of me?" Many parents do not realize that they
are responsible for their children's mental and spiritual growth and character
building, as well as for feeding and clothing them. If parents fail, God is
going to hold them responsible.
I want to give a few suggestions to Christian parents. First, take time with
your children. Your children not only require a great deal of your time, but
they long and hunger for it. Perhaps they do not express it, but the hunger and
longing are there just the same. Love them; spend hours with them. Cut out some
of your so-called "important social engagements" and make your home the center
of your social life. God will honor you, and your children will grow up to call
you blessed (see Proverbs 31:28).
Second, give your children ideals for living. Teach them moral and spiritual
principles of life. Show them that only the morally and spiritually right attain
genuine satisfaction in life.
Third, set your children a good example. A well-known story illustrates this
point. It was the usual custom for a lawyer who walked to his office every
morning to stop at the corner tavern for a drink. One morning when the snow had
fallen, he heard a sound behind him. Turning, he saw his 7-year-old son stepping
as far as he could in his father's tracks in the new-fallen snow.
The father turned around and said, "Son, what are you doing?" The son replied,
"I'm stepping in your tracks." The father sent his son back home, but that
morning he couldn't go to the tavern; all he could think of was a boy stepping
in his father's tracks.
When he was studying for his law case that day the boy's words kept returning,
"I'm stepping in your tracks." About noon the father got down on his knees and
accepted Christ as his Lord and Savior and said, "From now on I want my son to
step in the tracks of a Christian father."
Fourth, plan activities for your children. Plan things together as a family.
Make the home so interesting and delightful that your children will want to stay
home; then they will never miss the things that so many young people are engaged
in for thrills.
Fifth, discipline your children. The devil's philosophy is: "Do as you please."
Children are going to be in society what they are in the home. The Bible, from
Genesis to Revelation, teaches that parents ought to lovingly discipline their
children.
Ephesians 6:4 says, "You, fathers ... bring them up in the training and
admonition of the Lord." In Proverbs 13:24 the Bible says, "He who spares his
rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly." And in
Proverbs 19:18, "Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart
on his destruction."
If you fail to discipline your children, you are breaking the laws, commandments
and statutes of God. You are guilty not only of injuring the moral, spiritual
and physical lives of your children, but of sinning against God. The Bible says
that if you fail to discipline your children, you actually hate them.
The best way to influence your children is to set an example before them.
Remember, the majority of children acquire the characteristics and habits of
their parents.
The Bible says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he
will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6). Now, some parents carry discipline too
far, continually harassing their children. The Bible also says, "Do not provoke
your children, lest they become discouraged" (Colossians 3:21). Parents should
never give unreasonable commands. Nor should they ever give a command that they
do not mean to be carried out.
Sixth, teach your children to know God, and bring them up in the church. Very
seldom do parents have trouble with children when the Bible is read regularly in
the home, grace is said at the table and family prayers take place daily. Most
trouble with teenagers comes from children reared in homes where prayer is
neglected, the Bible is never opened and church attendance is spasmodic. Christ
gives the moral stability, understanding, wisdom and patience needed to rear
children.
Many parents are not Christians. They have never received Christ as their Lord
and Savior. Church attendance, if any, has been no more than a duty and a
ritual. Their children have seen the insincerity in the lives of their parents.
They have watched their parents go to church on a Sunday and live like the devil
during the week. So the children have rebelled against religion as a whole; they
have turned away from moral restraint. Many parents are only reaping what they
have sown.
Christ is the answer to teenage delinquency. Christ in the home, in the lives of
the parents, is the only permanent solution to the menacing teenage social
problems in America.
If you are a parent, Christ can help you to rear your children in the fear and
nurture and admonition of the Lord. If I were not a Christian, I would despair
of my children in the moral climate in which we have to rear them.
Get the Scripture and its principles ingrained into their souls, "precept upon
precept; line upon line;" teach them "here a little, and there a little" from
the Word of God (Isaiah 28:13). Get them into the habit of going to church every
Sunday, of praying daily and of saying grace at the table.
That will solve 90 percent of the problems you have with your children.
If you are a young person seeking thrills, happiness and joy in some of these
questionable avenues of pleasure, I beg you to come to Jesus Christ. Jesus
Christ can give you the greatest happiness, the greatest adventure and the
greatest thrills that you have ever known.
If you will take Jesus Christ into your heart, He will put a spring in your
step, joy in your soul and a thrill in your heart. Come to Christ! Jesus Christ
is the one who can be joy and happiness and peace to all of you young people. I
beg of you to surrender your life to Christ.
But there are many of you who will say, "I would like to give my life to Christ,
but I cannot live the Christian life. I have tried before but have failed." Ah,
yes, but when you receive Christ, He comes into your heart. He gives you
supernatural power to live the Christian life.
You do not struggle alone, by yourself. He lives in your heart to give you power
and strength to live the Christian life. You, today, can give your heart to
Christ. In Romans 10:13 we read, "Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord
shall be saved."
--1955 BGEA
All Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New King James Version.
"Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is
diligent to discipline him" (Proverbs 13:24). In other words, parents should
never say to a child, "I love you, but I'm going to have to spank you." They
should say, "Because I love you, I must spank you. I love you too much not to
correct you when you need it." The purpose of discipline is to
turn a
child into an adult, who develops the capacity to make intelligent, mature,
life-affirming choices because he has learned that making foolish, unwise and
disobedient choices only brings pain. That's the way life works.
The purpose of spanking in the life of a child is for him to
connect disobedience with pain. He learns that sin is costly. This is why
spanking should only be administered in cases of willful disobedience and not in
cases of childish immaturity or accidents. Spanking is necessary because every
child is a fallen, sinful, self-directed creature by birth. "Folly is bound up
in the heart of a child," says Solomon in Proverbs 22:15, "but the rod drives it
far from him." The writer of Proverbs, you will note, refers to a "rod" rather
than to the parent's hand. This may be so the child associates discipline with
an object rather than the hand of his parent. Thus the parents hands are only
extended to the child to comfort or to help. Many parents have discovered that a
wooden spoon works wonders. Applied to the bare bottom of a misbehaving child,
it smarts, it stings, but it does not wound or bruise or break the skin. And
trust me, kids get the point.
...Here's my interview with Michelle: Tell us about the event that
inspired you to write Just
18 Summers. My pastor dedicated a baby at church one Sunday morning, and as
the parents turned to leave the platform, Rev. Sexton said, "Don't forget you
have just 18 summers. Go make some memories." The poignancy of that slammed into me, particularly since my youngest son was getting married a few weeks later.
...The first thing I thought of that day when I heard my pastor say
those words was that I was glad we'd spent as much time as we did with our boys,
but I wish there had been more. The second thought that hit me was to wonder if
I had taught my son the important things he needed to know before he left home.
I'm sure other parents can relate to that. I want to remind parents to enjoy the
18 summers before their children leave home, and I want to equip them with the
tools and encouragement they need for the parenting journey, so on January 1, I
launched the Just 18 Summers, parenting blog.
...Just 18 Summers isn't a guilt trip, it's a gentle wake-up call
to remind parents that God has given us this precious gift, and those children
will only be under our roofs for such a short time. What is the cultural impact
when parents aren't actively involved with their children? Families are the
cornerstone of our society and we have a lot of repair work to do. You don't
have to watch the news for long to realize that a lack of parenting is having a
big impact.
...You know, sometimes we as moms get a bit discouraged because we
don't see how God could possibly use our efforts as moms as we clean house, and
change diapers, and do laundry. but because a mother packed a lunch with five
loaves and two fish, her child was part of a miracle.
Sometimes a parent has no other choice in this regard, but far too
often the wants of adults are trumping the needs of children in this debate.
While adults at times may have a genuine need for the long-term care of their
children elsewhere than home, this is seldom beneficial to the kids themselves.
Based on decades of careful research on these issues, the simple truth is this:
the younger a child is, and the more time he or she spends in formal daycare,
separated from mother and father, the more likely that negative outcomes can
occur. Indeed, plenty of studies have demonstrated the harmful results that such
extended periods of formal care can have on young children. Consider one very
recent Australian study which has once again confirmed all this.
This is how one news item begins the story: Children who spend more
than 21 hours a week in long daycare are at greater risk of performing below
average in math, literacy and overall academic achievement, a new study finds.
...A recent American study of 4000 children found that mothers who
return to work soon after giving birth may harm their child's school
performance. The study showed that children of mums who work full-time struggled
academically compared with those whose mums stayed at home. Educational
psychologist Burton White, director of the Harvard Preschool Project, has
written extensively on the subject of nonparental care. This is how he
summarizes his experience: "After more than 20 years research on how children
develop well, I would not think of putting a child of my own into any substitute
care program on a full-time basis, especially a center-based program."
...A system of child care subsidy could be established in which all
parents receive benefits which they can choose to use as they wish. They could
redeem it for care outside the home, or redeem it for cash if they choose to
care for their own children at home. But something must be done to slow down
this widespread unnatural and unhelpful separation of young children from their
own biological parents.
...Let me tell you, I was not always the greatest kid and my
parents did what had to be done. They would talk with me, explain things and
spend time with me and my brother. My parents were and are great role models but
I'm here to tell ya I definitely got my behind whooped. Guess what? I deserved
it. My dad was very serious about the whole thing. I would get into trouble,
back-talking, or being disrespectful, which were both spanking offenses. He
would send me to my room and I would have to wait patiently. Then he'd come in
and explain why I was there, what I did wrong and what he expected of me in the
future, often with a story where we would both laugh. Then he would stand up,
take off his belt and I assumed the position. Afterwards we might talk just a
bit longer and depending upon what I did to get into trouble in the first place
I would either have to stay in my room longer or I was free to go. I never hated
my dad for those spankings, it was obvious I was at fault.
...Then, like everything in this country, the liberals, academia
and the do-gooders got involved. ...There's no one to wipe your nose out there
and if you ask me, kids who grow up with a lack of discipline are the ones that
have been abused. ...Anyone who owns a business or is in a position to train or
hire employees knows you're lucky if you can just get somebody to show up on
time, much less work hard all day for the sheer reason that working hard is its
own reward. The entitlement mentality seems to have morphed into a default-mode
for young adults in the age of Obama. Did poor parenting cause this? Yes.
...Which brings me to what I want to say: I was a service plumber
for a long time, I went to lots of peoples homes and was amazed at what I saw.
I would see young children tell their parents no, and the parents did nothing,
almost like they were helpless. I would see older children cuss and yell at
their parents, and the parents would cuss and yell back or do nothing. Some
parents would look at me and you could see the shame, while others really didn't
care and no, these weren't bad parts of town. In fact it was quite the opposite,
these were middle class, upper middle class and down right rich neighborhoods.
Also from what I saw it was more white collar than blue."
Side note, I never saw this happen in a house I went to where the
children were being homeschooled. But before you go cuckoo on me, I suppose I
have to say this: Am I proponent for spanking , Hell ya, Do I believe in
Beatings, NO! Parents or a single parent seem to be more concerned with wanting
their child to like them or being friends with them, or are too busy working two
jobs to give a child the single most thing they crave: Discipline. Critics will
quickly jump on that word and scream child abuse but you know that's not what
I'm talking about. Kids love discipline and I'll give you proof which is easy to
see.
The two-part booklet provides myriad ideas on how to model healthy marriage to
your children. It also offers practical applications for children at every age
and stage. And it's free. Focus Marriage Analyst Jeff Johnston talked with
CitizenLink about this new resource. ...For decades now, research has shown that
children with a married mother and father do best physically, emotionally and
psychologically. They're less likely to get involved with substance abuse or
crime, and they do better in school. Marriage between a man and a woman is one
of the best ways to combat poverty. We care about children, so we want to
promote an environment where they do best.
...You can't assume any more that your kids will grow up
understanding what marriage is, the union of a man and a woman. And you can't
assume they'll know why marriage matters: It's a foundational building block for
society; children do best with a married mother and father; and healthy
marriages are the best way to combat poverty and a whole host of social problems, crime, drug abuse, educational problems. So our team worked to create a
creative, user-friendly tool to help parents understand God's design for
marriage, help them model a healthy marriage to their kids and give them ideas
for talking to their children about marriage.
Christian marriages and families can be an example of healthy living. They don't
have to be perfect, but we can model how to deal with conflict, how to treat
each other, forgiveness, working together, commitment and faithfulness.
...A large part of the culture has moved away from a Christian
sexual ethic, it's like we are a post-Christian or pagan society. Just look at
some examples from popular culture in the past couple months: On Thanksgiving,
Lady Gaga was featured on "The Muppets" singing with a drag queen The Macy's
parade had a dance performance from "Kinky Boots," a Broadway show about a shoe
factory that makws boots for drag queens On the first of the year, the Rose
Parade included two men getting married on top of a float Just this last week
the Grammy Awards broadcast a mass wedding, with same-sex couples If your
children or grandchildren are watching this, say they're just watching the Rose
Parade, they're seeing a gay wedding. Our culture is inculcating our children
with sexual confusion and sexual brokenness.
..."Teach
Your Children About Marriage" starts out at a real basic level, parents
interacting with their children and teaching them that God's design for marriage
is a man and a woman, in a committed, permanent relationship.
...The Apostle Paul admonishes in Romans 1:16 that we should not be
"ashamed of the gospel," but, rather, should "Do [our] best to present
[ourselves] to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and
who correctly handles the word of truth" (2 Timothy 2:15). In
addition to leading by example, this means steeping Christian children and young
people in the "word of truth," the Holy Scriptures, and equipping them, in
love, to champion (to "fight or speak publicly in support of") the infallible,
unchangeable and absolute truths found therein. This is so even when
the absolute truths of Scripture have become unpopular in a world that prefers
the absolute lie of relativism.
...When the light of Christ is shined, it sends lovers of evil
scurrying for the shadows. For this reason, Christ warned, "You will
be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will
be saved" (Matthew 10:22). In a culture that slaughters the unborn,
mocks purity, celebrates sexual sin and makes a joke out of the institution of
marriage by imagining sin-based counterfeits, it remains a daunting task for
Christian parents to raise children with both the courage and conviction to
stand unashamed for God's truth. From an earthly standpoint, it seems
counterintuitive to both welcome and find joy in being hated by the world.
...It boils down to instilling in our children a biblically
orthodox Christian worldview, that is to say, absolute truth. Anything else is
nothing at all. ...If steeped in scripture, children, even the prodigal child,
may be pulled under and tied down for a time by relativism's glittery allure.
But when the relativist rope rots, fear not, for those who have been fastened to
"the way, the truth and the life," who is Christ, will burst back into the
light. And then what champions they will be.
Parents
& Children: For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the
unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
1 Corinthians 7:14
Young Children
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Psalms 127:3
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man;
so are children of the youth.
Psalms 127:4
Your wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of your house:
thy children like olive plants round about your table.
Psalms 128:3
He that spares his rod hates his son:
but he that loves him chastens him betimes.
Proverbs 13:24
In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence;
and his children shall have a place of refuge.
Proverbs 14:26
Train up a child in the way he should go;
and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child;
but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Proverbs 22:15
Withhold not correction from the child;
for if you beats him with the rod, he shall not die.
Proverbs 23:13
The rod and reproof give wisdom;
but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame.
Correct your son, and he shall give you rest;
yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.
Proverbs 29:15,17
If your children will keep my covenant and my testimony that I shall
teach them,
their children shall also sit upon your throne for evermore.
Psalms 132:12
My, son hear the instruction of your father, and forsake not the law of your
mother.
Proverbs 1:8
Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.
Proverbs 4:1
Hear me now therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth. Proverbs 5:7
Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth.
Proverbs 7:24
Now therefore hearken unto me, O ye children; for blessed are they that keep my
ways. Proverbs 8:32
The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes glad a father;
but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother. Proverbs 10:1
A wise son makes a glad father; but a foolish man despises his mother. Proverbs 15:20
Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their
fathers. Proverbs 17:6
He that begets a fool does it to his sorrow:
and the father of a fool has no joy. A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him.
Proverbs 17:21,25
Chasten your son while there is hope, and let not your soul spare for his crying. Proverbs 19:18
He that wastes his father, and chases away his mother,
is a son that causes shame, and brings reproach. Proverbs 19:26
The just man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him.
Proverbs 20:7
Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be
right. Proverbs 20:11
The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice;
and he that begets a wise child shall have joy of him.
Your father and your mother shall be glad, and she that bares you shall rejoice.
Proverbs 23:24,25
Her children arise up, and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her. Proverbs 31:28